The Final Destination (2009): Death in Yo’ Face!

A fun experience for those who like to see people die in weird ways.

I love the title of this one. Adding the definite article just means that they are setting themselves up for lies. We all know it’s not THE final Final Destination film, especially since it climbed to #1 at the box office over the weekend, standing triumphantly on the head of Zombie’s H2 . But grammar choice aside, this movie delivered the goods in a format that was destined to be utilized for this type of action.

Our heroes...meh..t.he most generic kids ever.

Opening with a fun credit sequence that showcases deaths from the three previous films via X-rays of skeletons, I knew I was in for a good ride. Rock music blaring. Race cars zooming by in 3D. Mildly good-looking teenagers providing not-so-interesting dialogue. Yup, this is exactly what I wanted to enjoy on my Friday night. In many ways, the scenes on the race track provided some of the best 3D experiences of the movie. I actually flinched when a metal object flew at me from the raceway and I’m not usually a jumpy person.

Some of the best "oh shit" faces I've ever seen.

Although the big disaster opening is plagued by lots of CG (as is the rest of the film), I never get tired of watching deaths unfold in bizarre ways. The series began as a fairly contemplative look at the mystery of death with some comical horror moments thrown in, but it has surely evolved into something that left behind philosophy and embraced a morbid guessing game of gruesomeness. What was great about The Final Destination is that it didn’t waste as much time as the earlier sequels did with entangled plotlines about death’s plan and unnecessary exposition. It’s the fourth go at it. And it’s not a complex formula. We get it. So thank you for realizing that we are not complete morons and just letting us get on with mindless death scenes unfolding before our eyes.

Is it wrong that I laughed during this scene? He was a racist, so no.

The death scenes themselves are not necessarily more elaborate than the film’s predecessors. Instead of creating a ridiculously long chain of events that lead to a character’s demise, the film builds up misleading events and focuses on objects that trick us into thinking they will be involved in the death. This is part of what is so fun about these movies. Everything, from a tea kettle to a leaky faucet, become sources of suspense. The gore that unfolds is decent—nothing spectacular, but it’s gonna’ make you laugh because you’re one sick puppy.

Don't worry, this scene is much better than it looks from the trailer.

I find myself short on words when it comes to this movie. I mean, what else can I really say? I’m not going to discuss technical elements, story, or acting. You know what you’re getting yourself into and all I can tell you is that you’ll have a good time. Go see a horror movie that was begging for the third dimension since its inception into the world.