The Collector (2009): If Vincent Gallo Were in Saw

SPOILER FREE! Gritty, Grainy, and Gory… oh and a Gallo lookalike!

This was a fun little treat, especially because I hadn’t heard much about this movie before seeing it. Sometimes I miss the days before the internet when it was easier to go into a movie with zero expectations because you knew nothing about it. Surprise is more difficult to come by and many of the films that have done really well still find a way to incorporate surprise by not revealing much in their advertising. Tangents aside, The Collector satiated my desire for a “kick ass killer” type of horror movie.

Uncanny

The opening sequence is great. It sets up some mystery, is shot in a bold, underexposed sort of way, and isn’t too long. It’s followed by a Se7en-style credit sequence (or perhaps I should credit Stan Brakhage), but I can’t get enough of those flashy celluloid visuals set to industrial music. What can I say? I’m a sucker for colorful, stylized cinematography and The Collector is full of scenes illuminated in vibrant reds, blues, and greens. It’s not like you are watching Suspiria by any means; think more in the line of a 90’s drug movie about dirty cops. The visual design is maintained well throughout the film, as we are given old school extreme close-ups and hard lighting. And they don’t overdo the 360 degree camera with speed ramping as in the Saw films.

Carrying David Fincher's reel

Our main character is not the girl next door, the angsty teen, or the pretty boy. Arkin (Josh Stewart) is a rough guy with a rap sheet and a desperate situation that pushes him to use his heist skills on the family who he is doing handyman work for. It’s refreshing to have a lead that’s not incredibly good looking or painfully generic. And he’s not a bad actor; nor is the rest of the cast who all seem to have been chosen well by the director.

Now for the horror. As you probably know, the house is full of macabre traps that admittedly are a bit too elaborate, but I didn’t really care as I was watching it. The killer has set up traps to appealing objects that one might grab for self defense, like scissors or knitting needles. Running through the house to escape is near impossible, as hooks and blades are behind every closed door. This concept adds a great layer of uncertainty and tension to the film. Every attempt to sneak around, outrun, or attack the killer gets your nerves going. And the killer himself is simple but effective. Clad in all black with a leather mask, the Collector’s eyes appear animalistic in the lighting and the sound designer pairs him with warped screams and howls. The fun thing about this film is that all of the technical elements are not necessarily geared towards realism. Many modern films attempt to make the cinematography, sound, and production design as natural as possible to render them unnoticeable to the audience. The Collector uses all these elements to further the story and tone.

What's happening? My basement was never juandice-colored before.

One of the downfalls to this film comes with its setup. It’s always difficult to pull off a film that is basically in one location the entire time, but you really do notice that you’re in the same place throughout the movie. A lot of that feeling comes from the repetition of specific locations within the house. Arkin runs up and down the same set of stairs at least a dozen times. Every now and then, a particular room pops out of nowhere and I’m thinking, why hasn’t he been in there until now? It’s a big house, so there’s plenty of room to move around and I wish it was explored a bit more. The other aspect of the film that was disappointing is the ending, but I won’t get into that here.

The Collector deserves a viewing, preferably while it’s still in its theatrical run, which is bound to be short. Yes, it’s similar to Saw. No, it’s not as pretty as those films. Yes, it’s by the Project Greenlight guys. No, it’s nothing like Feast. Give it a shot, that is unless you are too busy checking out The Orphan.

Dead in 3 Days (2006): The Day Psychopaths Learned to Text

It may sound like a J-horror film, but oh no, it’s Austrian!

Sometimes it feels like certain parts of the world cling to past decades. Japan must be in the 80’s. Mexico in the 70’s. And Austria…definitely the 90’s. Dead in 3 Days looks, sounds, and moves like a late 90’s teen slasher. Everything from the alternative rock music to the past-coming-back-to-haunt-you setup make the film a pretty standardized horror movie, but this tried-and-true formula is tried and is true for a reason. It works.

I'm just saying, military jackets...90's fashion...

The one indicator that this film does not actually take place in the era of flannel and grunge is the text message threats our group of prep-school graduates receive on the same day: “In 3 days, you’ll be dead!” Since the text is in German, I can’t tell if it’s actually more like “n 3 dayzz u will b ded!” Like the best friends these kids are, none of them tell each other that they receive the text until things start getting weird when one of them goes missing. It isn’t until about 20 minutes in that we realize the short-haired blonde, Nina, is our Final Girl and she’s pretty likeable. In fact, none of the characters really bugged me, which is unusual. The acting is good and the writing is smooth enough not to have me groaning at bad dialogue from wimpy characters.

Suspicions...

The only part where you are not so pleased with the teenagers is a scene in which they hold an MTV-music-video-style party inside a bronco. Smoking weed, drinking beer, and some girl is even doing coke—all while the vehicle shoots down the road. Come on guys. But the filmmakers handle it pretty well, because you’re thinking oh great, they are going to hit someone and we’ll get the I Know What You Did Last Summer story all over again. And they do hit something. But it turns out to be a small deer. They sober up pretty quickly, watching the poor animal suffer because of their actions. It’s probably my favorite scene in the whole movie because it’s a nice way to play with our expectations and an ominous foreshadow to the rest of the film. It sets the tone perfectly.

Speaking of foreshadowing. We're not emphasizing this fish tank for any partiular reason. Really, we promise.

The deaths are nothing special. Sitting down to write this review, I had a tough time remembering all of them (I watched it about a week ago). But, in true 90’s fashion, it’s not really about the gore. It’s about finding out who is killing them and most importantly, why they are being killed. I won’t give away who the killer is, but I will say that the killer, when the identity is concealed and when it is revealed, is genuinely creepy.

Is that the killer from Urban Legend?

Overall, the Dead in 3 Days is a good watch. Director Andreas Prochaska seems fairly new to the non-televised feature film and he’s done well with this one. The technical elements of the film are nothing to shout about, but none of them work against the movie by any means. I can’t say that I’m dying to see the sequel, but if the opportunity presents itself, I won’t look the other way.

CAPS: Scarecrow Slayer (2003)

Because words alone do not suffice.

I have been slowly working on this post for a while. With the bad internet connection, its quite the process uploading the photos. So this may be my last post for a while, unless I get a free day to write up some stuff. Here it goes...

The first thing you will notice about this movie is that they never actually go to a farm location. Composed matte paintings do the trick...sort of.

And you'll notice that Tony Todd is in it. Or that's probably the reason why you watched it to begin with.

Our Final Girl. She's cute, workable.

And her boyfriend...who wears puka shells? Still? Come on.

And the Final Girl's Best Friend who has one of those annoying gum-chewing habits.

And who has a big mouth, big hair, and is not the attractive counterpart to our heroine that we have come to expect.

This Fraternity of 30-somethings put them up to snatching the scarecrow in order to jump on the greek bandwagon. And they have all this high-tech, military equipment...

Like this!
And this!

Things start to go horribly wrong when he falls all of three feet.

And suddenly the cell phone is plagued by shotty CG imagery.

And all this special dirt gets on his shirt....

that magically disappears from shot to shot. Things sure are getting spooky.

Yes Tony, at less than fifteen minutes in...we all need a drink.

Now things really start to go wrong when an electric light show turns the boyfriend into a scarecrow

Just kidding about the electric light show, but what else is this supposed to be?

I'm pretty sure this shot was supposed to be IN focus.

Or perhaps the blurry technique was foreshadowing her upcoming descent into madness.

And she's stuck at a hospital that looks like a motel with a sky that's been replaced behind it and a police vehicle that never existed on this side of the century.

Her friend is also doing her best Linda Blair impression (and not succeeding for the record).

The Scarecrow kills Tony... or atleast kills a bunch of sheets dipped in blood.

All I can think about is, "Where did that stain on her left butt cheek come from?"


And the girls are just stupified, especially the one on the left.

Don't worry, I'm a cop. I promise that's not a sticker I pasted on to my car.


Help! Everything has a fog filter like Rambo 2 and I don't know why. It's not a style that has been established during the movie.


Good thing my friends gave me a change of clothes that were popular in the 90's and dropped me off in the middle of nowhere.


I'm sure this militaristic Frat will be able to take on a bunch of hay strapped together.


Do you mean kill the scarecrow?! No! You can't! He's my best friend!

Frat boys are dropping like flies. Electrocution.

CG blade through the stomache.

Death by being squashed when hiding behind a door?

Ok...


Well, it takes a Final Girl in a hottie shirt with a pitchfork


and a bazooka


to kill a Scarecrow.



This is the most exciting thing that's happened the entire movie.


And this is the scariest moment.

Wait. I changed my mind. This is definitely the scariest moment. Notice the red light, camera, and tripod in the left corner of the screen. Smile: You're on Candid Camera! Haha, and you thought you were actually watching a real movie!

MIA

So I have pretty much been absent from the blogging scene for the past month, but I do have a good excuse. I’m getting married in ten days! I live in California, but I’m getting married in Washington State where I’m from. So I’ve been at my parent’s house in Washington getting ready for the wedding for the past month. I never knew how much work putting a wedding together really was, especially since I’m not one of those girls who have been planning her big day since birth. In addition to the litany of daily bridal tasks, my parents have the worst internet connection and it takes me forever to do anything online. And I haven’t been able to watch many horror films either. I apologize for my lack of activity, but I can’t promise that it will get any better until after the wedding and after the honeymoon. In other words, see you in August!

You should also check out the new blog of my fiancé:
The Action Effect.
You guessed it, it’s a blog all about action films.