My first CAPS review. CAPS will be made up of screen captures and my captions. Let's see how this one goes for Splinter.
Meet our Final Girl. She loves camping, can drive a stick, and can change tires.
Meet our Final Boy. He can do none of the aforementioned tasks.
Meet the Goodhearted Criminal. He kidnaps our Final Boy and Girl.
Meet the Crack Addict.
Meet the Enemy: Badgerine (I'm not sure if it's a badger or a wolverine)
Meet the First Victim. How could this guy not die?
Characterization: Ah man, trees are so cool. They just blow my mind.
Why am I dating this guy? Oh right his background in science will come in handy later on...
The gas station where it all goes down
It's the Man with Spikes!
As our Crack Addict tries to explain, but no one believes her...can you blame them?
And he attacks!
But not before flashing his gang signs
To quote Ash, "Honey, you got real ugly"
But I still love you anway...
This can't be a good sign
Morticia, the Thing got into the Doritos aisle again
It gets tense...
But a cop shows up to save the day!
Only to be ripped in half, exposing the fact that she chewed too much Big Red
Well, I got a plan! Let's light everything on fire to attract attention.
Babe, fires and gas stations don't go well together.
You may be getting your PHD, but I have breasts...so I am right.
Whatever Captain Blood Beard
I knew I should have cut off the finger
Boxcutters were a bad choice
Let's get to know each other
Shit, lock me in a gas station...Bawls and Beer
Let's band together and formulate another plan
This time it's brilliant, I swear!
Ok, maybe this plan isn't looking so brilliant at the moment.
Monsters love fireworks too!
And Metallica (or anything they can headbang to really)
But they HATE consumerism!
And next the Holy Trinity of Survival Horror:
And the moment we've all been waiting for:
If a gas station is shown for more than five minutes, it will and must explode.
Wait...it's over and no one's head exploded into a porcupine? That's ok. I still had fun.